F for...

Certain friends,

you would want to keep them for long.

you care for them. you love them. you cherish them.

you'll do heart-to-heart talk with them.

Certain friends,

you don't get to see them very often.

yet, the feeling is still the same, no matter what.Certain friends,

the chemistry is there.

you're comfy to establish partnership with them.

Certain friends,

can guide you in life.

they lead you for a betterment.

they're like mentor.

Certain friends,

you would keep them for some distances,

get in touch once a while and the feeling is still great.

then both of you'll be out for a while.

Certain friends,

you just think they can merely be acquaintances.

you know their names, they know yours.

that's it.

Certain friends,

they come with a hi, end with a bye.

So, who are you to your friends?

Who are they to you?

I leave you to ponder.

shaking my head

i just don't understand.
why can't i be a more detailed person?
i just need 5%-10% of conscientiousness essence in me.
i am not greedy.
just 5%-10%. =(

i wish myself to be more particular in drafting things out.
especially important and formal document.
so that i don't have to bother others
to amend this and that.

@_@"
all these repetitive matters
are making me feel as though
i've never learned and improved.
muddle-head.

CANNOT BE LIKE THAT ALWAYS.

think?

This evening, as i paced my steps up above the hill for my car, i was thinking to myself. A super deep introspection inside out. What have i done today?

It got me thinking. Really. I feel, at some point in time, we're ought to make a difference in our every day life. Live like there's no tomorrow. I really think this phrase is accurately built. Each day, we create and discover something new. We make a difference in others' lives too. Sometimes, a lil insignificant matter can mean a lot. Really it will mean a lot, eventhough that person doesn't tell it out loud. Just like how others made my day. It means so much for me.

Living on this earth, standing on this firm ground, we need each other. Let's take my job for example. A production of a bulletin needs not just my unit, but also the editorial board, the designer and writers. If anyone of us stops, the whole process will be delayed. Thus, it has clearly shown that we need each other. :)

**********************************************

this picture portrays the well defined colour of black and white.

but it neglects the grey colour which people tend to forget

we're too blinded by what's wrong and what's right

and we always forget how to fix the wrong and how to improve the right.

It got me thinking deep on other matters arose. I just couldn't understand and prevailed upon what i've heard. A brother actually rejected his own sis for bringing her for a doc when she's sick. I cannot believe my ears for that. The sound wave just couldn't get into my ear drums and interpret in my brain. What a self-centered brother he is! I CANNOT TAKE IT. Someone we've been respecting since young. After so many years, what have you shown to us? Have you know of any word that spelled "kinship"? I don't know. At times, I really hate myself, for listening so much of these but i couldn't help and make a jump start from somewhere =(

I am thinking to myself, what have our culture and religion taught us? When we believe in our religion, this shouldn't be happening. Thus, i really do not know how to believe. Where's my leap of faith on it? I am disappointed over this matter. Like... super? I can't even imagine myself for calling him or imagining him. Please. Go away. We're good enough. I thought forgiveness is the best virtue but towards people as such, I choose to be an insensible one for once.

People, don't ever try this to your family. It's really a big sin. He's just so blinded by self and more self and never recalled all the help received in the past. I believe in karma. I cannot believe what selfishness can turn a person to be. Siblings are to be loved and cared. God, please forgive those who creates sin against us. amen.

Earth Hour 2010

Spent the Earth Hour 2010 in hometown with my family :) Time flies. No. I should rephrase it. Time evaporates nowadays! =X We had so much fun last year with council members during Earth Hour. We turned off the light. We witnessed the on-and-off of light. We held candles. We rocked the night!

This year, it was slightly peaceful with family. Haha! Can't believe Star Coffeehouse actually celebrated and joined in the team for Earth Hour! :) Was quite happy to see the flyer stand. Hehe. However, they only turned off 3 rows of lights in the restaurant. Ended up with a lil bit of disappointment. Haha! I knew they're running a business here. So, it's ok. 3 rows of lights for 1 hour does make a difference somehow. Good job :)

they distributed candles to each table around 8.20pm.

candlelight dinner. ^^

papa & me!

mummy and mizz!

pretty lady. =)
wish to have more time for family sometimes.
that includes the extended family members as well. =)

of mummy and baby! =)

Isn't baby a wonderful creation? :) Babies are always miraculous. Human makes baby. Though it's a very complicated process... =x (well, maybe not) but I guess pregnancy is a very tedious job on earth. Let alone giving birth and taking care of baby *crazy*.

A good friend of mine gave birth a cute healthy girl on 11 March. A birthday which in between our friends on 10 Mar (Siew Ping) and 12 Mar (Joo Tin). Haha! How about triple birthday celebration next year?! :) Annnnnyway! We paid them a visit last night. I was really excited! In the morning, we shopped for baby's and mummy's! We were as though innocent idiots shopping for baby and confinement stuffs. Everything was so mini! Miniatures! :) It was very fun actually. Haha. Felt really great to hold the tiny and light baby in my arm. Felt the warmth and love. ^^

girl girl raised her hand and said, " You all stop talking, i wanna sleeeeeep!"

she's in my arm! :) tiny! light! warm! cute! :)

can see her double eyelids, a few eyelashes. eye brows! :) pretty lil princess.

kacau her! :P small hand :)

pretty mummy. pretty still. =) no big change over her figure. @_@"

A set of gifts for baby and mummy. :) the confinement hamper.

a baby stroller. :)

a mini bunny pillow and moo moo blanket for girl girl! ^^

Congratulation once again! :) Hope baby will grow up in a very healthy manner. :) Waiting for our next round to play with her... :) dote on her lots!

from mummy & daddy =)

received this gift from parents when i am home. :)

love it.

sis has one too. different pendant. but still, love-shaped. =)

it's always priceless to receive gift from parents.

it makes you to be even more appreciative over things received.

nana is thankful for everything.

loves.

toilet call

This morning
my stomach was growling.
Not due to hunger but pain.
It was painful.
Painful enough to wake me up at 6.22am (i even checked the time).

Then.
Again, 7am++
Torturing.
And did i mention that i had series of dreams last night!?
*did i sleep*? =X

I wonder was it due to the nasi lemak I had for my last dinner.
Wonder did my housemates go through that as well?
Coz we had the same dinner. @_@"
Or was it just me? =X
Very seldom i'll have diarrhea.

Moving on.
Working hours.
OMG.
I had training and meeting in the very morning.
Can you imagine how greenish my face turned out to be?
I felt cold.
I went to washroom for 4-5 times.
but it wasn't productive. @_@"
HATE it.

Skipped lunch.
To prevent extra product coz i have to DRIVE home. @_@"
Luckily that 3 hours was a smooth sailing.
Can't believe the rain actually sustained me to overcome my sleepiness.
Was sleepy during the first hour of driving.
Nobody was with me. =(
"I" people cannot live without human. =(
Colleagues said, "Stop it. You drive alone. That's it."
Hahahahahaa!

The end.
I am home. =))

green :)

See this picture? Today, I feel, i am like the above picture (well, i am not the hand, i am the plant). I am not promoting environmental friendly matter, more so, i feel this plant resembles me. Growing. I felt the change in me, in terms of my mentality and values in life.

Being as green as it is and being a young newcomer in working life, there are many many lessons learned and to be learned. Today's Leadership Class that led by me was a wonderful experience. Being able to share and speak with people who are so profound and with prestigious titles of doctorate somehow made me nervous yet priviledged. You can simply distinguish by my way of saying and the way they speak. :) I am not looking down on myself but i am deeply honoured to be able to say something and felt the sense of being heard by people with experience. :) I am encouraged!

Being as green as this gives you the room to learn, to make mistake, to find solution and to create a difference in the society. Dr.P is right. When we serve and lead our people, we need to know when's the time to use the authority and position, not to abuse these onto people who are with us throughout the thick and thin.

We must not take ourselves seriously, but we must take our work seriously. =) Remember, title isn't everything, you own your people, not your title.

Today, indeed i feel blessed, to be able to learn from leaders from different stages of life. The green me, at this point in time, are still improvising and developing myself, to be an all rounder. I am just like a sesame. I know where I stand. Who knows I will transform into a sesame biscuit? :) and share knowledge with others just like how they do onto me now one day? We need time to gain experience. We are ought to be humble, to be true to ourselves and to present the genuine self to people around us. Love life, feel life and grow with life. =) Isn't it wonderful?

bekerja

Monday-Sunday

Worked.

wasn't that bad afterall. =)

looking forward to my timeout with family and friends back in hometown!

the tie that blinds our eyes

Came across this topic in my reading lately which i found simple yet profound, something so close yet so near to us. Guess what's the tie about? Yes, it's emotional commitment. We all feel love, friendship, comtempt and hatred for some people in our lives. All these emotion rush tend to compromise our objectivity. It blinds us from seeing the truth.

More than often, we wouldn't want to think ill of those we love, or maybe we wouldn't want to see anything good in those we hate. To further complicate matters, most of us dislike change. Who does? Ooooh, maybe there is, but I am at the sideline. With my personality, I have to admit that, it takes me quite a long time to digest changes in my life. Really. I. am. ( I think my colleagues really agree with this, coz when i told them this, they were like "hmmmmmm...").

So, why does people dislike changes in life? It's all about security and convenience. We have the emotional attachment to ourselves, to keep things just as they are. When we're emotionally attached to a specific outcome, we tend to forget our objectives. That's why people always say, don't say a word when you're angry. It always end up with hurtful statement and it kills the mutual respect, trust and friendship that have been well established. It will take ages for you to repair the disaster.

That is also why, counsellors are being barred from having dual relationship with the client. A client, forever a client. He or she can't be your close friend or family. Well, it's just a matter of staying in or out of the objectivity. Just like how doctor can't treat their own family members. Same theories behind. :) Sometimes, we can pull outside out from the picture, don't stand inside the picture, we may get a better view.

Life's great when we decide to paint it with our hearts. I hope everyone's leading a good life! ^^

what's for tomorrow(s)?

Sometimes, i just simply lurrrrrve planning. :) During the planning process, you get to brainstorm and squeeze your brain by all means. Although at times it's kinda torturous, but it feels really good to have people to think with, to laugh with and to get involved with. ^^ It's not just about planning, it's also about executing the plan. When to submit this proposal, when to get things started, when to heat it up and when to really get down and make it happens.

We always plan. We plan for our life. We plan for our future. I am not a type of planning being. I can't feel the zest of it. After working for some times, i've learned that planning is really vital. Really, i am not a good planner. I always have such thought that why not letting life leads your days gradually? Why making such a hassle that I will do this today, i will do this tomorrow(s)? Well, sometimes, people just need enlightments. :) I would call it as stages.

One thing about planning is walk the talk. Planning is merely a verbal action between your lips, tounge and brain. How about your hands? :) Yes. Many have been saying that, it's easy to talk, wait till you try it. Well, I have to say, if we were to be an achiever, maybe we can minimize the sentence mentioned above which somehow brings destruction to your own will. Trials. More trials. It will eventually lead to success. :) I am writing this because I believe my friends who're setting up their own career, will gonna make a difference for the society. :) So, patience and waiting are the golden rules of all.I am really looking forward to next semester big time event for SDCU! :) Yes. Lurve to extend new ideas, life values and knowledge to students. Gonna sustain and maintain some physical and mental stamina to prepare for next round of merry-go-round. :))

Disney On Ice

Who said u cannot feel the excitement of Disneyland in Malaysia? =D I just did with Disney On Ice live show in Bukit Jalil Stadium yesterday. =_____________=" (self-fulfilling prophecy) Alright. So, this is my first time watching Disney On Ice themed Disneyland Adventure. =))

my first Disney On Ice ticket! :))

Outside of the hall.

lots of Disney merchandises. p_r_i_c_e_y

Before the show began... :)

the ice-skating stage.

slippery and brightly shines!

Jaws dropped as I witnessed the instant changes of props and lighting without the attention of audiences from top to bottom, in and out, flipped and turned. I tot it was just me, but hey, the rest thought the same too! Have to give two thumbs' up for them! Seriously, it was superb! :)) Sitting at the upper tier of the stadium wasn't really that bad as I could still see the whole performance clearly and wholly. Spectacular opening and closing. Loves the lighting effects. Colourful! Different setting of environments would have different kinds of lights and it somehow triggered my excitement. Ok. Chill. And I can't really believe the skaters really skated like nobody's business with the big head masks on. Really salute them lots!

very nostalgic childhood moment

with the music and dancing steps. :))

this was the opening where the main character Mickey, Minnie, Donald Duck, Goofy and Pluto skated out and danced. =D

As i've mentioned, it was themed as "Disneyland Adventure".

There were in the haunted house. With ghosts. @_@"

There were a lot of children, AND adults! =X We're one of them. :)) Loves to see children's smile but not the wails. Hehe! Children's laughters, exclaimation and giggles were filled thoroughly in the indoor stadium especially with the appearance of the Disney characters like Mickey, Minne, Donald Duck, Goofy and Pluto. Special side dishes like Stitch, The Incredibles, Snow White, Cinderella were there too! ^^ Loves The Incredibles. :))

Stitch with his "ga-ga-ga" typical hoarse voice.

"i" for the Incredibles! :)))

those Incredibles, really super incredible.

i think they skated the fastest among all. @_@"

Cinderella and prince! :)

And did i tell you? The finale of the whole show was amazing! A sudden blackout of the stadium and TATA! The LED lights of the Disneyland building landmark. B.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l. =)) Just love it.

lights in the pit dark stadium shocked me. =)Happy ending with all the disney characters.

I always love Disney, be it cartoons or movies. It always portrays the value of love, friendships and kinship. It's very educational and it suits every level of human kind. :) Thanks to my parents, I even had Disney preordered magazine every month when i was a kid. @_@" Next time, i am gonna bring my kids over for this and buy them disney colouring books!! =D *maybe for yh's girl girl first*. Haha! =D

Burnout and Compassion Fatique

Gone through a test named Compassion Satisfaction and Fatique Subscales of Professional Quality of Life Scale.

Burnout is always being perceived as a feeling of hopelessness and difficulties in dealing with work or the things that you do. More so, you're losing the passion in doing certain things that you used to love. Anyone of you had encountered burnout before? On the scale of the norm, we usually will sense our "alarm" rings. So, what does this alarm tell? Well, it can be a form of losing the sense of belonging, the loss of passion, mood swing and many many more which negatively bog you down. For me, i think when the alarm rings, it's time for us to be alert and conscious on what we're currently facing. Issit because of the stressor? Burnout doesn't happen in a blink of an eye. It happens due to the accumulative stressors in human. It's like a pile of shit, stuck in your bowel (what a good description huh?). Haha! Anyway! Don't let the stressors pull you down. Please get away from what u're currently doing. Recharge yourself and come back again. Or! Do something that makes you happy. Singing? Exercise? Eating? Sometimes, human just simply need a break. Don't you think Kit Kat is doing a good job? "Have a break, have a Kit Kat!" Haha! =D

Compassion Fatique

As for compassion fatique, known as secondary trauma, which explains your work-related, secondary exposure to extremely stressful events. For instance, a friend comes to you with his/her problem and you take that problem personally and transform it into yours, somehow. In counselling term, we may name it as transference (somehow related). My score was relatively higher than others in this scale. It's on an average scale but just slightly higher. It's quite true though as I will feel sad for what others had gone through, but not to the extent of having depressive syndrome or whatsoever but it bothers me and may mislead me from where i belong. I believe it's due to the lack of experience, i am still very much adjusting myself into this helping relation. Again, i guess i am just too conscious over what i am doing and what i've learned during my degree years. Knowing human too well isn't really a good thing somehow. hehe!ooo by the way, my burnout scale was also slightly above average. haha! most of us are above the average. =X I've scanned through the workloads that we had since the very beginning. Let's see- One camp, two workshops, three high schools events, endless trainings, bulletin establisment. All in ONE semester! I really think we all need to pat each other's shoulders. No wonder we always feel we are still lacking of manpower eventhough we have more manpower than the past. Whatever it is, just strive for the best and enjoy the work. I love teamwork. I really do. But i believe all of us need to get away from work and take a short break before our burnout pointers got shoot up again. Haha! GAMBATEH!

you saw the best that was in me

lifted me up when i couldn't reach

you give me faith coz you believe

i am everything i am

because you loved me.

(Because You Loved Me, Celine Dion)

-a powerful song to kickstart a day and to recharge myself, i am not alone-

play safe

the title sounds so absurd. Haha! never mind. :)

wonder issit due to the instinct of being a counsellor (not me, of course), they somehow read me. O_O" so, being observant is good or bad? I wonder. Sooner or later, i'll be a transparent plastic. XD Alright! i am very random now but i am having a sound mind ok. but now i just cannot really connect what i really want to convey.

i think it's time to evacuate and evaluate. To? to somewhere out of my comfort zone. i am always with a bed of roses. I have everything i want. I never encountered hardship. There's just no hardcore in life. I know i should be appreciating with what i have right now (i am just being bitchy here).

It's time to get away. I am too occupied with things, with my own expectations, with people's expectation and with the consciousness of creating and recreating mistakes. All these accumulative elements really can cause burnout in one self.

She's true. I am afraid of conflict coz i have been living well. I do not like people arguing. I like people talking in a gentle and peaceful tone. I am supporting peaceful environment and she's also true that i may have the tendency to runaway from things and to play safe. Yes. This one i second. Never ever leave your feelings unattended. It's terrible. Find out the source and refine your life.

Today I had lines and lines of thoughts rushing in and out. I think my ram is kinda slow, that's why it's quite lag and needs longer time to digest. Lesson learned today: Live the day as though u're living it for the last time because you never know you'll be alive or dead the next day. People always take things for granted. Takes time for granted too! "I always have tomorrow to do this, do that, make this, make that." "I tell you first thing tomorrow." How many tomorrows you have?

A terminal leukimia patient refused to talk, eat, or smile in the hospital.

So, this lady [T] went to him and asked, "Can we talk?"

"No." he frawn and said.

[T] tried a few times and finally this man agreed to talk to her.

[T] asked, "why do you refuse to eat?"

He answered, "I have no time anymore, what for to eat and talk?"

[T], "So, how long can you survive?"

He murmured, "Not long. About 1/2 year."

"You're really a lucky man!" [T] exclaimed.

Looking surprised, he asked, "Why? I AM DYING for godsake!"

[T], "I don't even know when i will be dead but you know!"

The man, "..."

[T] spoke again, "You see, you're given a timeframe to create your own life. People like me, don't. Who knows i'll be gone tomorrow? I'll be even more earlier to report to God than you! People always take things for granted, thinking i have tomorrow. Since you know u have this timeframe, make full use of it and treasure everything you have now."

*silence*- the patient resume his life as normal again from that day.

A friend of mine probed me with question like "how many of us really do some lil lil gifts for people around us to affirm each other?". Thinking of that, i think i've done it. Haha! :) Just that, sad to say that it's no longer a practice for me now. T_T BUT! There's always other way out, like spending time to talk and be appreciative with what people have done for us?

.____________.

Flat.

totally.

totally flat.

I-City

It was a great Sunday outing with housemates the other day. We headed to I-City in Shah Alam after a quick dinner. I-City is actually a MSC (Multimedia Super Corridor) project where LED lights showcase was held. The trees were beautifully lid. There are also a few LED lights models (reindeer, panda, peacocks, christmas trees *with tanglung*)

This time round, we took hundreds of photos. -.-" which is so hard for me to choose to be placed in my blog. So, just gonna be a quick recap for the night! Hope you guys enjoy it! :)