play safe

the title sounds so absurd. Haha! never mind. :)

wonder issit due to the instinct of being a counsellor (not me, of course), they somehow read me. O_O" so, being observant is good or bad? I wonder. Sooner or later, i'll be a transparent plastic. XD Alright! i am very random now but i am having a sound mind ok. but now i just cannot really connect what i really want to convey.

i think it's time to evacuate and evaluate. To? to somewhere out of my comfort zone. i am always with a bed of roses. I have everything i want. I never encountered hardship. There's just no hardcore in life. I know i should be appreciating with what i have right now (i am just being bitchy here).

It's time to get away. I am too occupied with things, with my own expectations, with people's expectation and with the consciousness of creating and recreating mistakes. All these accumulative elements really can cause burnout in one self.

She's true. I am afraid of conflict coz i have been living well. I do not like people arguing. I like people talking in a gentle and peaceful tone. I am supporting peaceful environment and she's also true that i may have the tendency to runaway from things and to play safe. Yes. This one i second. Never ever leave your feelings unattended. It's terrible. Find out the source and refine your life.

Today I had lines and lines of thoughts rushing in and out. I think my ram is kinda slow, that's why it's quite lag and needs longer time to digest. Lesson learned today: Live the day as though u're living it for the last time because you never know you'll be alive or dead the next day. People always take things for granted. Takes time for granted too! "I always have tomorrow to do this, do that, make this, make that." "I tell you first thing tomorrow." How many tomorrows you have?

A terminal leukimia patient refused to talk, eat, or smile in the hospital.

So, this lady [T] went to him and asked, "Can we talk?"

"No." he frawn and said.

[T] tried a few times and finally this man agreed to talk to her.

[T] asked, "why do you refuse to eat?"

He answered, "I have no time anymore, what for to eat and talk?"

[T], "So, how long can you survive?"

He murmured, "Not long. About 1/2 year."

"You're really a lucky man!" [T] exclaimed.

Looking surprised, he asked, "Why? I AM DYING for godsake!"

[T], "I don't even know when i will be dead but you know!"

The man, "..."

[T] spoke again, "You see, you're given a timeframe to create your own life. People like me, don't. Who knows i'll be gone tomorrow? I'll be even more earlier to report to God than you! People always take things for granted, thinking i have tomorrow. Since you know u have this timeframe, make full use of it and treasure everything you have now."

*silence*- the patient resume his life as normal again from that day.

A friend of mine probed me with question like "how many of us really do some lil lil gifts for people around us to affirm each other?". Thinking of that, i think i've done it. Haha! :) Just that, sad to say that it's no longer a practice for me now. T_T BUT! There's always other way out, like spending time to talk and be appreciative with what people have done for us?