recency effect...

Dear Father Lord,

I pray for a betterment- for my attitude, for my emotion and for my own management. I pray for inner peace and strength. I need a lot of strength through difficult moments and most importantly, i pray for wisdom and patience in completing the responsibilities ahead, be it as a staff or a student.

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Honestly speaking, sometimes i do face the difficulties to laugh my heart out because i am so occupied with stuffs and challenges. Funny how i know all of these will mould me to another level yet it seems like i failed to do so.

Lots of thoughts in my mind lately. Maybe i shall decipher them today one by one.

1. Respect- I find this virtue is such a significant essence for life. It doesn't matter whether you're younger or older than anyone, respect stays in a mutual relationship- love, family, friends and work. It remains as it is, just like God remains the greatest. For me, respect can be earned but respect can never reproduced by authority and status. Came across all sort of people in life, little did i know that i can face a person who plays external locus of control to that high that it can shoot up to heaven. Where is humility? Where is the care? Where is the considerate heart? I don't know. Big question for me to handle is "How will/can i respect this person?" There's no methodology to begin a respect but i've been questioning myself on HOW and doubting my attitude whether am i being a horrible person for thinking such way. But i guess, it's not up to me to do anything. As long as i am consciously clear, i am done! Well, it's just my thought.

2. Complaints- This topic was discussed over a ride with boss the other day. She questioned how can a person be blessed if he/she is filled with complaints? Hmmm, i find this quite true. I felt that we can always count the blessings rather than complaints. As a counsellor-to-be, i also have to consciously remind myself to cut down the complaints if possible. I need strength to work this out.

3. Emotion- i think i am in need to realign my emotion. Due to my personality, it flunctuates quite a lot. I don't wanna affect others. I wanna work within myself. That's why i feel, i need a lot of inner peace and learn to smile more.

4. Help- being in a helping profession, i guess the most important thing is to help out each other if possible (especially people within this beautiful field). I am so thankful to meet some very very helpful mentors who always share with us everything they can. I wish one day i'll be able to share my knowledge and experience to the juniors. It's a niche group- we ought to help each other.

a place called Batam

A step to Batam this time round was fruitful. The fruitfulness wasn't about how fun was it, how much we spent and how good the trip was, but for me, honestly, it's the much insights that i've gained through my own eyes to look at the culture, the people and the place.

I see- poverty. The rich and the poor leave such a big gap within this little island. From one end you will see people eating ayam penyet in a restaurant, on the other end you see people sitting down by the streets to beg and most of them were cacat. I saw kids (who're supposed to have fun during their childhood) begged for money; I also witnessed a kid pulling a tray of buckets by her own lil hands. My heart sunk at that moment and i was in the bus.

During that split second, i thought i was so fortunate.

I see- the culture. The culture of selling stuff by the streets with this small cart. It's so small that probably only 3 ppl can stand comfortably to choose the goods. I see how visitors compared and bargained, as though the bags were not at the cheapest rate but for me it was already. I see competition among those vendors because they are selling almost the same thing. I got to see the batik too :) It was nicely done. To my dismay, the culture of smoking also quite frightening. Indons smoke anywhere, anytime. There's no designated place for smoker, not even a hotel lobby. There's no "NO SMOKING" signage at all! =x

I see- friendliness. I believe we always have stigma against indonesians due to the social issues. It's undeniable that they can be quite a nasty bunch but they are also simple version on their very own. They are friendly and humble. Most importantly, i feel they appreciate whatever they receive from us. I am thankful to our tourguide-Fendi who took care of us, especially in terms of our safety. Apparently locals are quite superb in snatching stuffs.

the chips were fresh! :)

I see- sacrifices. To us, eating up fire and glass, jumping over the fire ring are thrilling performance. When i look at them, i felt "What a sacrifice they have been doing all these while at no charge but to solely depend on the tips received..." I was truly amazed. I wonder was the stomach painful after that.

This trip to Batam made me love Malaysia in a broader sense where we're much developed and advance. At least I know we have food to eat, we have good bus to ride and we have a better living environment. Indonesians are friendly bunch. The service received was great and welcoming. The food was delicious yet affordable. Nevertheless, the security of this island will make me think twice for a revisitation. Thanks for all for this trip. Appreciate it. =)

friends

Sometimes, we don't really need a lot of friends. Quantity is not the matter anymore. What matters the most is the heart of a friend who stays no matter where we are, how well we've been or how good we are doing now.

Friend needs affirmation, not judgment, not criticism. Humility also plays a role because being humble and listen to friend is such a beautiful essence one could have. Instead, sometimes i do encounter people who raise up their so-called status and see highly on themselves. Or even, looking down on people around them, dispute on things that's ought or not ought to be.

For real... for real... deep down inside i wonder... what is the meaning of friendship to you and me? Sometimes, some incidents will allow you to see more and figure more. God, I pray for enlightment.

new hangout place

Ever since i moved in, the pool seems to be a new attraction for me. Hehe! Well, at this moment, it is my new hangout place whenever i am free and feel like exercising! The swimming pool! Be it at night or day time :) I love to swim still. Today, i did it for 10 laps and i felt real contented. Should do more next round.

Just get changed and head down to the pool and dip in! =)

Creamy Wednesday

It's been ages for such celebration to bump into the real world of ours! :) We're still young, come'on! :) It was Amy's birthday on last Wednesday, well, she's quite easily "planned". The surprise zoomed in quite fast. One moment we're at the stadium to gather all the partners in crime, the next moment we're at the apartment to begin the cream war surprise! :) I had fun! Though we need to spend a lot of time to clean up, but birthday was still the main focus of the night.

I think we had 2 rounds of smashing cream on her. Thanks to Hau Shen who acted so quickly in this. The fake cake just went off "PIAK" on her face like that :) Chun'ted! :) and to our surprise, she didn't expect the CREAM was the main lead of the night :D

2nd round of cream war was during the group photo. "How about to wear a cream crown?" Hehe! And oh boy, the war went off so crazily that some of them hid in my housemate's room and didn't dare to step out! Hahahahah!

The birthday queen!

Glad to have you both around in the house ;)

I can't comprehend why that night i was quite touched seeing everyone had fun with the party. I guess the bond that we have is increasing in a linear way :) I appreciate all of your friendships to me, not just a colleague but more like a playmate, a friend :)

I guess it was an unforgettable night for all of us :)) and we actually had "After-action-review"meeting at mamak for the crime team! ahhahaha! FUN!

Now, who doesn't want us to celebrate your birthday? :)

dream...

Everybody has dream(s). Recently, i've been thinking about my dream, my plan for the future. Masters semester resume and the adrenaline rush had swung by again. It's time to readjust myself back to the eventful week with studies and work, and maybe some entertainment (i really mean, SOME) because i can't spend 24 hours per day without sleeping.

I love my yet-to-be profession, especially when i hear it from Dr. Tun (my lecturer who teaches individual counselling). Her inspiring words made me want to learn more and always be humble in learning. She always mention, "This is a skill class, if you missed it, you will miss it." Classes are like the life and death thingy, you might not know one day you'll need those skills that learned from class for those whose lives are at stake in your hand.

With her, I find this profession is so beautiful. Well, helping profession is always beautiful. In order to reach out to more people, I can't just stick at where i am now. Thus, at this moment, apart from learning and working, i hope i get to do extra learning by attending more training outside. Most importantly, i hope i have strong discipline for me to finish it strong.

I wish everyone has a dream to move and don't just stay here to wait, but to do something about it. Sometimes, all we need is to care about it. Most importantly, it is YOUR dream to fulfil, not OTHERS'.